If you can't get out the house to see a therapist, or don't have health insurance. I highly recommend www.betterhelp.com
They have a ton of promo codes for free sessions floating around the internet. I am not sponsored by them, so sadly I don't have a promo code... but if you google around, I am sure you can find them. Their website is full of licensed therapists and you can even shop around until you find the one that works best for you.
Video chat, phone call, text / email. As often as you need. Whatever works best for you and your budget.
I personally use them.
((***edit I recently found out they have discounts for low income families. I am not sure how this works, but worth an inquiry. ))
Struggling a bit financially but still need someone to talk to? https://www.7cups.com also has licensed therapists, but also offers a FREE community with tons of resources and communities + FREE peer to peer chat. So if you're looking to talk to someone dealing with something similar, they are a community of really awesome people.
If you need help right now in this very moment, the national suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255
Or if you are like me, and talking on the phone with strangers gives you a bit of anxiety...
Text 741741 from anywhere in the USA to text with a trained Crisis Counselor.
I also can suggest some spiritual coaches and peer support groups if needed. Just shoot me a message here or on fb.

I didn't get as many pictures this time as Inbnwould have liked to, but I did get the chance to meet some people from the Chicago chapter of Norml. A couple hundred people stopped by throughout the day and I would say their event was a pretty good sucess!

This event was hosted by Jim Patton and his page is https://www.facebook.com/Chicago-Peace-Fest-107420245952134/

Worth a follow for more Chicago related marijuana information.

Last years event turned out so amazing. We got to meet some really great people. This year I will not only be walking in the Philly event come this October, but also the Chicago event in Aug!!
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Join us as we walk together to raise awareness and funds to defeat lung cancer and raise our voices for lung health. LUNG FORCE Walks are a time to laugh, learn and imagine a world free of lung disease. Our walks promote fitness and help forge lasting connections between participants.
Your support saves lives by funding key lung cancer research and providing people who are impacted by lung cancer with invaluable resources, assistance and information. Get involved today by forming a team, registering as an individual or participating virtually.
Why Do We Walk?

• Lung cancer is the #1 cancer killer of women.
• Anyone can get it – if you have lungs, you can get lung cancer, and it's on the rise in women.
• Because every 5 minutes, a woman in the United States is told that she has lung cancer.
• More than 33 million Americans suffer from asthma, COPD (which includes emphysema and chronic bronchitis), and other lung diseases.

By joining our LUNG FORCE Walk and raising funds, you can help make a difference for all those affected by lung disease.. Now is the time to raise our voices against lung cancer—and for lung health. Together, we are a FORCE to be reckoned with!

Join us for the LUNG FORCE Walk - Chicago on Sunday, August 12, 2018 at 10:00 AM .

Soldier Field
1410 Museum Campus Dr.
Chicago, IL 60605

http://www.lung.org/our-initiatives/lung-force/about-lung-force/

I will post more information about the October event as it becomes available.

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Dear Dad,

I continue to struggle with not having you in my life anymore. We're coming up on two years since you've been gone, but lately it feels like day too...not year two. I worry that I am not getting better. Sometimes I fear that I will never get better.


I find myself angry a lot. At myself, at the world. At everyone who can get up in the morning and live their lives. I am so livid that nothing feels the same. Like the colors around me. The greens in the grass, the golden oranges in pinks in a sunset. They don't look the same to me. They look off... like when I didn't set my apature properly. Like I am looking at a world with not enough light.


I am haunted by the things that were not said. Before you died.. the morning you passed you told Robbie there was still so much you wanted to tell me and it kills me that I will never know.


I am not the most loving person in the way of hugs or physical touch. And I wish, as an adult I would have hugged you more. I wish I could have given you more actions than words. And you know what I think about? Holding your hand as you passed and the last time I did that before that day. I think I was 12 or 13... you grabbed my hand to cross the street and I remember thinking oh god what if someone from school sees me. I feel guilty now for thinking that.


I am a mess of guilt and burdens that I know are not exactly mine to bare but it doesn't stop me from feeling them all. Knowing things were not my fault doesn't help me sleep at night.


We are soon entering the 3rd month of 2018. Tavo and I are faced with a life changing decision and I have no idea what to do. We are so very lost and I desperately need your wisdom. I feel like you are the only one who could have lead us in the right direction. Honestly, dad? My life has been a string of choices that haven't always been in my best interest since you passed. I find it so hard to even think about the direction my life should go as to me... my whole entire world has stopped moving.



I guess... here is some good news. I have reached back into therapy. That is where this letter is coming from. I am trying to deal with my PTSD in a constructive way. This letter. I know you will never ever read it, but maybe some day someone will come across it. Maybe it will help them.

I love and miss you. I hope there is more for you. I hope in some way you are still you and you are happy. I love you very much and I think about you every day. I know if I could be half the person you were my kids will be ok.


I will continue to write to you. And I hope that some day these letters won't be so sad.

- Maggie

A family tradition almost lost.... in 2015, Tavo and I talked about doing new traditions for our little family. We both loved the idea of elf on the shelf, so decided it would be a new Lopez family tradition. That following spring my father fell ill, and that summer he passed away. So that following Christmas, 2016 we did not unbox our new elf. I spent the next year very mad at myself. I really wanted my kids to have this. Especially my two youngest. Poppy and Justin who still believe in the magic of Christmas. Being able to push through the grief and pull together really takes a lot of forgiveness and soul searching within myself. This year we are going to try harder as a family to be happy again. To love, and to be loved.... and we will be welcoming a new elf friend. Name coming soon!

I really thought that this year it would be easier. I could come into November feeling productive. Host a #LungCancer project, have a happy Thanksgiving dinner, smile on your birthday... but I have not been able to do anything. I still struggle to get up in the morning. And this past month has been one long string of what feels like never ending anxiety and depression. I could give you a fancy metaphor about dark deep holes forming below me that I fall into. Not being able to climb out...That feeling of absoulte hopelessness. But....Maybe simply saying that the part of me that died in June of 2016 is now killing what was left of the person I used to be. If you could see me now, I know you would not be pleased with what you saw.... Still, even that isn't motivation enough to claw even a tiny hole to peek at the light that was once there. I used to be the happy friend. The one always making jokes and people enjoyed being around. Now I have no one left. And I can't blame them as I don't even want to be around myself. I miss you, dad. You were the only person who understood me and loved me unconditionally. You were more than a father, you were my best friend. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. None of us were. There were just so many things that were unsaid. You were supposed to see Ashlie graduate and tell Poppy stories. I don't like being the oldest in the family. I don't know how to guide and keep everyone together. I feel like I have failed you and I can't keep my promises. As I write this I just feel even more crazy as I know you will never read it. Your consciousness, your energy is moved on into space or the Earth... you.. the things that made you, you are gone. And grasping that just tortures my mind. I am so tired of being tired.

These are my purchases. I feel really good about it and plan on talking about my new pretty stones in a future post.

Hello friends. Next month is Lung Cancer Month, and in honor of those survivors, those lost and their families, friends, and loved ones... I am going to do a ART/Photography project. My hope is that it will go viral and get a discussion going.
It is hard for us because we compete with prostate cancer awareness that month. Getting the conversation going is not easy, but I believe even if we could help end the stigma around Lung Cancer just a little bit... we would have done something great.
I live in the Harrisburg area of PA... but I have thought of a way that everyone can participate in this project around the world.
All you need is a black marker, a couple sheets of paper and a camera. 💗
I want our stories heard. I want people to know that we need help. If this sounds like something you are interested in, please let me know. Together, we can make change.