I am so blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for being there for us always. You're an amazing father, husband, and best friend. Happy Father's day! xoxo
The following images are from the huge fire of Lear in Carlisle. This fire took place in 2012. I was lucky enough to live in walking distance, so I was able to get a few shots. Enjoy!
My new website / project is officially in it's beta stage. I'm so excited to do the official release next month. I have put so much of myself into this and hope that it will help people looking for resources in the Lung Cancer community.
I permanently deleted my instagram in early April. I can not reactivate it. The data is gone forever. I did back up all the images for myself and children, but I will not be returning to instagram in that context again. For over a decade I overshared my life on social media leaving me to feel pressure to keep up with everyone. I was worried about follower counts, likes and other things that truly don't matter.
I also cleansed facebook. I was going to delete that too, but I need it for the communities I work with. So instead I deleted almost everyone except for family and the lung cancer community. It wasn't because I was mad at anyone or wanted to hurt people. It's because I am tired of social media and the way it creates a false sense of reality. I did leave my business pages up, and my gaming twitter to keep up with internet friends. But I am truly done with "social" media this time.
I will try to keep up with this blog as much as possible. Writing and blogging is part of the plan I have worked out with my therapist, but I can't help but feel overwhelmed here too. It doesn't feel like it's for me. It feels like it's for other people. No matter how hard I try to be honest, I can't be truly open as I want to be.
I don't understand when we as a society stopped picking up the phone and started to consider liking pictures on facebook or instagram as keeping up a friendship. I am guilty of this myself. I know I am. I am a bad friend too. Since moving from Pennsylvania, I only have one friend's telephone number. It's a sad reality I have sunk myself into. I feel like I need to pull away from it all in order to grow and learn.
I have had the same telephone number for over ten years. If anyone really needs to reach me.
National Advocacy Summit
hosted by The Lung Cancer Alliance
July 21-23, 2019
Washington Marriott at Metro Center
*Who should attend?
All patients, survivors, caregivers and loved ones, healthcare professionals and advocates committed to fighting lung cancer will benefit from bonding as a community to ignite change in our national health policy agenda. By attending the National Advocacy Summit, you’ll be joining like-minded people from across the United States who are ready to represent the collective voice of the lung cancer community on Capitol Hill.
What to Expect
At the Summit, you will connect with other individuals impacted by lung cancer and participate in two days of sharing, learning and personal storytelling. Expect an empowering experience where you will gain:
Knowledge—leading scientists and experts will speak about the latest research and treatment advancements and the critical role that collective advocacy plays in moving the needle.
Training/Experience—expert-led advocacy training, mock meetings and lots of practice on how to communicate your personal story. Meetings with your state senators and representatives are pre-scheduled so you can focus on making an impact.
Community Connections—by connecting and working with others in the lung cancer community you’ll be inspired, motivated and hopeful.
Together we will speak with one voice to our elected officials. You are the change for lung cancer.
Joking around with a friend tonight about Christianity and other religions he referred to me as his pagan friend. I didn't mind the assumption, just a little taken back by it.
I don't identify as any one religion. There are things in paganism that resonate with me, but truth be told there are things in Christianity that resonate with me as well.
I'm not sure I've ever addressed that and figured I would throw that out there incase others were wondering.
I have such a great relationship with the idea of the universe and love of nature. I believe we're all connected and that things happen for a reason. But I don't attach myself to any one religion. And I would not call myself religious. Perhaps a bit spiritual.
I was having the most hectic week. My son's SAT prep, calling doctor offices and dealing with insurance. This was the sweetest surprise ever! Thank you Hannah for the wonderful gifts. Best care package ever.
As this cold makes it's way out of here, who's starting a garden? I read a study on depression and gardening back in November and I promised myself I would continue to study aquaponics and perfect indoor gardening for year round home grown food.. especially those winter months.
My success stories so far have been broccoli, moong bean, and chia sprouting. I also did well with green basil, mint, and lavender.
One of my Lavender plants looked like it was going to die, so I harvested what I could to make oils for later.
I am looking forward starting some tomatoes on my back porch. As well as some bell peppers and egg plant.
I've stuck to 1,200 - 1,400 daily calories. On a cheat day I will eat as many as 2,200 calories. The days before a cheat I do light fasting. I will eat 1,000 calories to have some left over at the end of the week.
No gimmicks. I am not doing keto, starving myself or gone vegan. I don't care about that crazy wrap thing, and I haven't gone broke with pricey shakes. I still love food. I've just learned to change my relationship with food. It's been a long journey. I've gotten help through my doctor, dietitian, and close friends.
I am looking forward to doing my weigh in May 1st. I've not been weighing every week anymore as I've found it to be counterproductive.
I've been learning lots of new recipes and really enjoying cooking at home.
I was chatting with my mother a bit this morning. Her and I don't speak too much. She wasn't around when I was a child or much into my adulthood. I do try however to let her know what's going on with the children and myself even if it's a bit awkward. We discussed the feelings of watching our children grow up.
It's so hard to grasp that I have an almost 20 year old adult child. She's in college. She's engaged to be married and the idea of moving to London is on the table.
The years are just flying by and it's hard to take a moment to slow down. Even for one second.
This past February I had the honor of shooting my daughter's engagement pictures. They came out beautifully.
I have to remind myself that self love is a journey that will never have a destination. Always moving forward, learning, seeing new things. It's ok to change speed and direction. But it should never stop. Keep going.
••Banana egg pancakes••
▪Dash of cinnamon
▪Pinch of salt
Mash the bananas, add the eggs, salt, and cinnamon. Mix really well. Cook in a pan with light spray of olive oil
▪2 TBS PB Fit Chocolate Peanutbutter
▪1 TBS Chia Seeds
▪1/2 Cup Blueberries
Total Calories: 401
The "Let's Talk About Lung Cancer" social media page was something I never thought I would be making. These are the messages I never thought I would be making. It's funny how the universe gives us what we need right when we need it.
Before my father was ill, I knew very little about Lung Cancer. Admittedly I was very ignorant and uneducated on the subject. I believed some of the stigmas surrounding it. I just didn't know all of the things I do now because no one is talking about it. And after my dad lost his battle to Small Cell Lung Cancer, I was left feeling hopeless and without any purpose in my life.
It will be three years this coming summer that I started the Let's talk about Lung Cancer pages. I created them in hopes of reaching people. I wanted to share my dad's story and help educate those like me who knew little to nothing about Lung Cancer. I wanted share resources and support groups. I wanted to be the voice my father didn't have. Our family didn't.
Last night I had the thoughts of defeat. And I was wasting my time. That my message wasn't getting out there. I debated deleting the pages.
Then this morning I got this beautiful and terrible sadly message from a woman who recently lost her own father to Small Cell Lung Cancer. She found me through my pages and sharing my dads story. My words helped her get through her journey and are giving her hope for the future.
I don't think I have cried this hard in a long time.
The universe gives us signs. We just have to look for them. My purpose in life is to continue fighting this battle with you all. My Lung Cancer family here on the internet and in my in person support groups. You guys are my people. You are my tribe. Sometimes the best people in the world get lost along the way. I am here to THANK YOU for all of your continued support by talking about Lung Cancer. Spreading that awareness, and getting the word out there.
I won't ever give up. This is my life's purpose. Thank you all for everything you do.
If I could only share one itty bitty thing I learned walking this Earth the past 36 years it would be this; It's ok for other people to not like you. Their opinions have no weight on your life. It's their right to feel that way, and not your job to change their minds. Let them misunderstand you. Judge you. None of this matters in the beauty of life and the universe. Never doubt your self worth based on the opinions of anyone. Keep working on your authentic self and being as kind as possible. Only put the vibrations and energy out that you wish to receive. Everything eventually falls into place, especially when we stop allowing others to define who you are and start working on your own happiness. I have no idea what I am going to do with the next 36 years, but I am excited for this journey and those who continue to stick around along the way. Love and light always friends.
Do you see female genitalia in this photo? #ART in everything. Feminine magic is radiant this Monday morning. It's all a part of the journey!
I get a little tired of people who assume that just because you have kids, you are automatically completely uncool, and that all your time is spent wiping babies from head to toe, giving spit baths, criticizing their every move, volunteering for PTA, blogging in your spare time, clipping coupons before crock potting a pot roast, ironing the clothes, bleaching the whites, mopping the floors, harvesting your eggs, sewing for your etsy shop, scrapbooking the little things, taking pictures of everything they do, saving for college, reading Dr. Suess, socializing at the bus stop, sweeping the floor, laughing over coffee with your jogging stroller, wearing your birkenstocks and listening to Baby Einstein.
Just because I DO THESE THINGS OCCASIONALLY.
Does not mean for one second that sometimes I don’t just want to be a kick ass girl with streaks in her hair, a ring in her nose, a tattoo on her arm, concert tickets in her purse, vodka in her fridge, a leather mini-skirt in her closet, her best single friends and a standing reservation for Las Vegas once a year with a don’t ask don’t tell policy, and the desire to just once be seen as more than the mother of 5 kids. Sometimes I just want to be seen as a “Maggie”. A “Maggie” with an extremely adorable set of children… (I joke, but sometimes it's hard to over come labels. )